Conscious Discipline Book Study

The video that I watched was "Wiring the Brain for Success" by Dr. Becky Bailey.
Dr Bailey said that children have three states or systems in our body (survival, emotional and executive).
She said that children will need to develop our frontal lobes so we can set goals, achieve them, resolve conflicts, develop empathy and see things from different perspectives. According to Dr. Bailey we can do this by providing connections to children. Children need connections with their school, their teachers and their parents or caregivers because this will create the path for self-control. When we have the "knowing" (executive) and the "doing"(survival, emotional) closer together our life works much better. This is possible by having the connections especially in the early years of life (1-3 years old). Children and us need to have self-regulation so when we are in the survival state we can own our own upset. We need to recognize when we are getting upset and who is making us upset. If a child is making us upset  and we become really upset then the child is controlling our upset. We will need to wire our brain so when we are upset, or trigger in a low state, we can use our capacity to move out of that state, back to the zone  and solve the problem straightening our frontal lobes to achieve our goals despite the obstacles in life.

If we as teachers could regulate our internal state of mind we would be more empowered to maintain a sense of connection during upsets, thereby strengthening our relationships instead of damaging them with constant power struggles.   So instead of putting out fires left and right as we tend to do we would be planting  trees and turning these difficult moments into life lessons for all involved including us.  I truly want to get to this stage I just don't know where to begin?  i know it all begins with our state of mind, so lets start there!  I am intrigued by all the states of minds and i am starting to recognize them in students and this helps me mediates and help their situations easier.

This is the million dollar question.   The ability to address brain states is a constant struggle.  I benefit from having another adult in the room a lot of the time,  but even then it proves to be difficult.  And what about the times the second adult isnt there? As the year has progressed I know the students better and the majority of the students are familiar with the structure of the class which is helpful.  I definitely think setting up a class culture at the beginning allows for the teacher to have opportunities to address conflicts.  But setting up the culture is hard when extreme behavior dominates.  It is almost the case of "What comes first? The chicken or the egg?" The chapter talks about not just putting out fires, but preventing them.  But as we work on preventing who is putting out the fires?!?

with that struggle said,  A couple things have helped me address multiple behaviors in my class. 

1. Remaining in an executive state myself pg. 56  Like I said before, this is my key to my sanity, and I am sure my students sanity as well.  I hate when I feel frustrated and react out of that frustration.  I cant imagine the students enjoy it either.

2. Staying consistent.  I can think of multiple students in my class that I have to speak to.  What has helped is having specific things that I say to them to address their behaviors.  This helps me feel in control of myself because I know what I am going to do.  But it also helps my students feel safe.  They too know what they are going to get when they talk to me.  It keeps them from entering a survival state.  At the beginning of the year, students would not come to me when I asked them to come.  They would refuse, or run, or yell  "no, dont call the office." Now they get up and come talk to me.  It hasnt totally changed the negative behavior I have to address but it has changed their response to redirection, which I think is 50% (just a random number) of our struggle.  It allows me to address a behavior quickly instead of using time to get them out of a survival state which I may have put them into.  Does that make sense? pg. 33 says "CD helps us keep a sense of connection during upset, strengthening relationships instead of damaging them with constant power struggles."

Some of the script I use:

Is that safe? My job is to keep everyone safe.  Your job is to help me?  Are you doing your job?

I make the rules in the class.  It is your job do follow them.  When you do (get up an sit where ever you want) you are making the rules.  The procedure in my class is to sit in your assigned seat unless you have permission to sit somewhere else .  Next time you need to ask before you move.

You just screamed the answer.  That is not helpful because doesnt allow everyone to think about the question.  It would be helpful if you waited and raised your hand to let me know you are ready to share.

I really loved reading the following:

"If we feel frustrated, we tend to see the child  as mean or rude, instead of lacking a skill."
"Executive state allows us to see from different perspectives."
Brain state doesnt make you a therapist, just a good problem solver - summarized